Thursday, February 14, 2013

The worst memory replaced with a lot of LOVE!!!

Three years ago we had our wedding, four years ago
we got married, and 
five years ago today I was leaving the 
Westchester Medical center.

February 9th 2008 
Was the worst day of my life.
Me and Miss Blue were in a car accident.
The car was totaled and Miss Blue was severely hurt.
I lost control on the icey roads.
We slid and flew off an huge
embankment and slammed into a tree.
I remember the shock and pain I felt.
But that wasn't the worst.
I turned around Miss Blues was covered in blood.
A tree slammed the car and her head 
went through the side window because of the force.
Half of her forehead was shredded and covered with glass.
I climbed in the back seat and got her out of her seat.
Panic took over!
She had huge shards of glass all over her forehead.
It was raw and bloody.
We got out of the car and I had a snowy mountain to climb.
She was bleeding all over the place.
I finally got back up to the road.
Luckily a car saw us and called 911.
We waited till the ambulance came then 
we were rushed to the emergency room.
I was crying, Blue was crying.
We spent a few hours in that ER and then 
they transfered her to the 
Westchester Childrens Medical Center.
She was in really bad shape.
I remember sitting in the room while they
held her down and stitched up her forhead.
My heart was breaking.
I had huge guilt, I did this to her.
For the next five days she stayed in the ICU 
unit and was under close watch.
A lot of XRAYS and MRIs were done.
No major damage was found.
I didn't leave her side.
Holding her in my arms just letting her
know Mommy loved her.
She was young only two years old.
Too young to really understand.
All she knew was her boo hurt.
They decided she was ok and she could go home.
My dad picked us up.
It was a very silent ride home.
Her poor head was all stitched up.
Part of me died the day of the accident.
And the next months were really bad.
The sadness and depression in me kept growing.
I kinda lost it for a bit.
Every time I looked at her I couldn't stop
the tears from falling.
Miss Blue was everything to me 
and knowing I hurt her so bad killed me.
Instead of being happy she was alive and ok.
I was focusing on the bad and damage done.
I had to stay strong for her but honestly
it was really hard.
Four months later me and Luke reconnected.
It couldn't have happened at a better time.
I was broken.
We started talking everyday and never stopped.
The love between us bloomed and this time
we were ready for the commitment.
The plan was me and Blue were going to move
back down to Florida after I finished school.
December we made the move.
Luke wanted to get married right away!
February it was!

The day we picked to get married was Feb 13.
Not only because it was Friday the 13.
But because Luke wanted to turn a bad memory,
into one full of love.
I really love him for this.
Instead of crying and thinking about that horrible day.
I am too excited about our anniversary.
His plan worked!
We celebrate our life together and our happy healthy family.
I do think about it but it isn't that black cloud
that was over my head for many months.
I am honest about it with Miss Blue and 
although she does see the scar I don't think it bugs her much.
The day someone say something mean to her about it,
they are going to have to deal with me.
But she is so sweet and cute I doubt anyone will.

It is something that will bond me and Blue for life.
I will always hold her extra tight and let her know how much 
I love her a million times a day.
She is my shinning star!

I am very lucky that I have a wonderful
husband that has helped me forgive myself.
It was a bit of a roller coaster when I first moved down.
So much emotion but he really helped me through it.
This makes me love him even more.
I am so much stronger because of him,
our marriage is like a rock!

Bad things happen but it is a even worse 
to dwell on them.
My broken heart is now smiling and full of love.

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